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January 26, 2010

Intentionality Forstalls Contempt

When my wife and I were dating, one of the things we though about was getting old. Not getting old like wrinkles and walkers and grey hairs. But getting old in the same way we say “This job is getting old” meaning I am through putting my energy into it and am ready to discard it. She worried that she or I would at some point decide that each other was “getting old”. “Familiarity breeds contempt” she would tell me. This went on for a while. She wouldn’t tell me she loved me because she had “been there, done that” with her feelings and emotions. She was guarding herself from hurt, and rightly so.
So after thinking and praying about it, I realized she was right! The possibility was there that we would get old to each other and want out. There had to be some solution. Just like everything else in life you are either going forward or going back but how could we make sure to go forward only?
Choices. And not big choices, but little choices. How we chose to treat each other every day. Spending time together. How we speak to each other. How we speak of each other in and out of their presence. Even how we think of each other.
And sometimes we do better than others. But we arn't going to give up.
Because it’s worth it. To us. To god. To those around us who need to see that there are some things in life that you shouldn’t give up on. There are some things in life where failure isn’t an option.
Because only in choosing to succeed can we hope to get there.
Because only intentionality forestalls contempt.