Here

A friend asked me what "Here" was about.

I guess it means that after running for so long it starts to feel almost normal. So when the heavens open up and you get just this little glimps into reality it allows for monumental growth.

Ive spent all my life searching, moving from one thing to the next. It why ive had so many jobs in a wide diversity of fields and Ive changed my major 4 times and am always looking to move away to Sacramento, Chicago, Alabama, Kenya, or China. Its why most of my friends dont last longer than a year or two. The grass is always greener, you know?

And I was at church on Sunday night. "The Well Student Community" it was an intense kind of night with worship and scripture readings and communion and prayer interspersed through out the night. After we were done with worship and every body was praying, I took the bread and the cup, thanked God, and took communion. After the service we had planned to have an allnighter because of the Labor Day weekend.  The all nighter had started and I was outside sitting on a plastic chair waiting with some of the kidos that were not staying, kind of staring into the building when Chelsea came over to me to ask if I was okay, because of the long day. And with tears in my eyes i said,"yeah, im tired. But there is nowhere quite else that I'd rather be." And it was true. Its only in the past few years that I even recongnized this as a problem, people were always congradulating me as move from one thing to the next and never helped me identify this deeper underlying problem in my life. And then Willy came along and was the first to point it out, and call it out for what it was, sin. But its not something that I myself can force. I cant force myself to be satisfied and complete and when I tried, I ownly found myself more empty to the point where

empty

felt

normal.

And through some work of God on my life I am exactly where He wants me to be right now. For some reason He has me here and there is no where else I'd rather be.

Its not some emotion I tried to conjuer up inside myself

Its not some intelectual understanding of the sovernty of God

Its not some opinon that people have talked me into.

Its just how it is.

-Adam Thomas